Life is a negative

2006-10-05T22:29:00.000+08:00

beware of these ym msgs.. may virus 'to:

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what the fuck

2006-09-09T21:52:00.000+08:00

I just got the car back from its engine and body make-over. But I don't think this car is going to really last for so long considering how the family driver just used it.

The car is already considered as mine and no one else could use it. Today was an exception because it has to go back to the talyer(sp?) for some minor adjustments. The family driver named Mang Roque drove my mom and sisters to my cousins house before delivering the car to the car shop. On the way home, it was raining so hard that my mom said there was flood. They had two options, to go through a heavy traffic path or a path free of traffic but with flood. My mother insisted to choose the heavy traffic path because no one would really know at that moment how bad the flood is in the other path. However, the fucking asshole driver insisted on taking the path with the flood because there's practically no traffic. Hence, when they got to the flooded part, the water was as high as the hood of the car. Imagine, an old pajero which is already a big and tall car, just comming from another fixing session from the car shop, forcing its way out of the hood-high flood. and that car is MINE! Now it has to go back on Monday because the water flowed inside the hood. who knows what damage has been made. I don't want to drive a car that's at the brink of its death.

Furthermore, the talyer guy saw a vandal on the hood of the car. Someone in school might be mad at me for some fucking reason. Whoever that person is, if I find out who the fuck he is, i'm sure as hell to beat his fucking ass to death.

The post before this in the brotha's way of sayin biatch

2006-08-12T22:55:00.000+08:00

Spyware gett'n sneakia

Today was tha first time mah cracka gots infected wit spyware n shit. Although he already had anti-spyware installed, tha spyware found a way in doggystyle. How? A nigga messaged him in yahoo messenga ta send a file. The file icon was a microsoft word icon. Looked harmless n innocent. But once he opened it, boo! spyware everywhere. I remembered ginge wizzy she messaged me a link . Boom bam as I step in the jam, God damn. I asked wizzle thizzay was n she said she didn't send tizzle at all . It's your homie snoop dogg from the dpg. Maybe mah playa nigga didn't even knizzow he sent thizzat file. That's whiznat spyware does . It's your homie snoop dogg from the dpg. It's infect'n yo computa witout you even saggin' . Throw yo guns in the motherfuckin air. If you don't do sum-m sum-m `bout it, yo brotha wiznill be one huge advertis'n machine ta tha point tizzle it's tha only function yo computa can do upside yo head. Spyware takes up a lot of hard dizzy space thizzay it slows it dizzown fo' sheezy. Sometizzles there's too much spyware you hizzle no choice but ta reformat from tha streets of tha L-B-C.

D-to-tha-izzon't confuse spyware messages F-R-to-tha-izzom spam messages in tha ym . Tru niggaz do niggaz. Spyware messages would appear like http://www.iamnotaspywizzles *emotizzle here* *emotizzle there* or like in mah motherfucka case, a file now motherfuckers lemme here ya say hoe. So, bitchslap yo nigga F-to-tha-izzirst n ask if he's really send'n a file with my forty-fo' mag. On tha brotha hizzand, spam messages is more of bullshit. Just like "if you diznon't send this in 1 hizzy yo mom will die" (also pleaze dizzay send this ta everyone. it doesn't work. i've tried so much of these cuz its a pimp thang. none worked and yo momma. n it could jizzy be yo nigga mak'n it up)

I heard mah baller rapping `bout a law against spyware is already in tha process of being written. It's not yet dizzle so spywarizzles is still at large with my hoes on my side, and my strap on my back. I also heard from him spywares is funded by tha mafia (in fact, every illegal thing is funded by tha mafia). So fo` tha moment, all we can do is shield our pusha frizzay spyware by not being stupid enough ta click on false advertizzles tizzy tizzle us tizzle our bitch is infected by spyware or click'n on wanna be gangsta links that no one told us ta do so or .. killa just be careful yeah yeah ba

Spyware getting sneakier

2006-07-25T21:02:00.001+08:00

Today was the first time my brother got infected with spyware. Although he already had anti-spyware installed, the spyware found a way in. How? A friend messaged him in yahoo messenger to send a file. The file icon was a microsoft word icon. Looked harmless and innocent. But once he opened it, boo! spyware everywhere. I remembered ginge when she messaged me a link. I asked what that was and she said she didn't send that at all. Maybe my brother's friend didn't even know he sent that file. That's what spyware does. It's infecting your computer without you even knowing. If you don't do something about it, your computer will be one huge advertising machine to the point that it's the only function your computer can do. Spyware takes up a lot of hard disk space that it slows it down. Sometimes there's too much spyware you have no choice but to reformat.

Don't confuse spyware messages from spam messages in the ym. Spyware messages would appear like http://www.iamnotaspyware.com *emoticon here* *emoticon there* or like in my brother's case, a file. So, bitchslap your friend first and ask if he's really sending a file. On the other hand, spam messages are more of bullshit. Just like "if you don't send this in 1 hour your mom will die" (also please don't send this to everyone. it doesn't work. i've tried so much of these. none worked. and it could just be your friend making it up)

I heard my brother talking about a law against spyware is already in the process of being written. It's not yet done so spyware-ers are still at large. I also heard from him spywares are funded by the mafia (in fact, every illegal thing is funded by the mafia). So for the moment, all we can do is shield our computer from spyware by not being stupid enough to click on false advertisements that tell us that our computer is infected by spyware or clicking on other links that no one told us to do so or .. whatever just be careful. There's a free anti-spyware program named adaware you can use.

First day hayyyy

2006-06-19T21:37:00.000+08:00

Sometimes the world just doesn't go the way we want it to. Even if we face the world with the utmost positive energy we have, sometimes the world gives it back with the opposite force. They say smile and you shall receive a smile in return. However, that saying didn't include the part after the word "return" that starts with "HOWEVER....."

I was really excited for the first day of class. Last night I prepared everything: my clothes and my bag. I'm SUPPOSED to wake up early but then again, I snoozed the alarm and went back to sleep. The consequence of that, of course, was I had to hurry things 1.5x faster or else traffic will get me in the neck and choke me before I get to class. Traffic still did get me but thanks to some luck in this world, I didn't get late. I was freaking an hour early!! I was thinking about eating breakfast in the cafeteria first but to my surprise, all tables were taken! The tables weren't full but still.. *selfish* Good thing I brought a banana with me. The bad thing is a part of it was already soggy. GREAT!

Into my first class... The teacher looked bossy. She got broad shoulders man!! At first she was a woman of few words. Mark told me she looked masungit. Then I told my opinion at the wrong time that everyone else went quiet "SHE LOOKS MEAN!" My eyes widened and extended their expanding capacities. Oh no... I only hoped she didn't hear anything. But later on, she said "My ears are trained to eavesdrop. So I can hear anything anyone says even a whisper from the back". I was at the back... and it was a loud whisper I did. Was she hitting on me? I'm doomed! I hope the saying "First impressions last" isn't true.

Later on in Theo class, our teacher was double checking our email addresses. She mentioned Yumi's email add: "y....d....angelic?"

"Yes ma'm" Yumi said

"ANGELIC?" Our teacher asked again.

Yumi nodded while I reiterated "ANGELIC?" a couple more times. She finally get what I mean to say and then... SHE SUDDENLY SLAPPED ME ON THE LEFT JAW. OUUUUUUUUUCH. Then she laughed of course. DAMN IT. I COULDN'T FIGHT BACK. Again, I was helpless against this powerful being. After theo class, I said hi to Kristel and as her greeting, she gave me A PUNCH ON THE LEFT SHOULDER.

Walking along Sec walkway, I saw Esgue and chatted with him for a moment. THen, all of a sudden, Gelo GAVE ME A PUNCH ON THE RIGHT SHOULDER! In less than 3 seconds, Shooli came over and threw his chest at me.

During lunch time Yumi and Aiu were eating in Wok and I followed after my guidance interview. Aiu was intently watching a basketball game and I whispered something to Yumi while looking at Aiu. I haven't even finished my sentence yet and I RECEIVED A SLAP ON THE RIGHT SIDE OF THE FACE. IF YUMI WASN'T THERE I WOULD'VE CHOKED HER.

In the end, even if the world gives us lemons, there's saying that also says "make lemon juice". These things weren't as bad as you might think they are. They're not even enough to get me pissed. I actually find them very hilarious happening all at my FIRST DAY HAYY.

The OMEhhN

2006-06-06T21:48:00.000+08:00

The day the movie "The Omen" is unleashed is also the day I watched it. I wondered if seeing the movie on June 6, 2006 will have an added scare effect. I thought this movie must be something big having that date in it, it must be as interesting as the revelation of Bible secrets in Da Vinci Code. On the poster, there's this creepy looking child with a black dog. Okay... Looks scary so far. I was expecting an action-packed mystery thriller like a combination of movies such as Constantine, The Sixth Sense, Saw, and The Ring. 30 minutes have passed and the plot stayed a flat line. I then realized this movie is a combination of Land of the Dead, Dawn of the Dead, The Crow, and The Dark.

Turning point... What's the turning point again? Oh yeah, the child is the devil's son! That's pretty predictable. In fact, everything is pretty predictable. Evil reigns...People die... Someone's suppose to kill the kid...bad ending. There's this photographer who caught pictures of people about to die. Was this movie directed by the same director in Final Destination? Where'd he come from? He suddenly knows about anti-christ things and teams up with the protagonist. He died leaving nothing that could've contributed to make an excellent movie. The music also helped predict what will happen next. Once you hear that creepy music, you can expect something popping out of the screen in five seconds.

I really thought the movie would be an action-packed, forever-haunting movie. I thought the kid will bring hell to earth and there would be a war waged between hell and heaven. That would be some grand war like in Lord of the Rings. After watching the movie you wouldn't be haunted by the number nor any elements shown in the movie. But the price of the movie ticket will surely haunt you forever. Your subconscious will tell you, "Congratulations, you just burned away your money." Oh man...

no pain, no fun

2006-06-01T21:18:00.000+08:00

So some of my blockmates wanted to celebrate the end of summer classes with a "lunch". It turned out the meaning of "lunch" was "inuman sa drew's 7pm". Sheesh inuman? I was thinking the whole afternoon If I'm going to injest liters of alcohol or stay and rot in the house. During the second semester some of my blockmates and I were drinking twice a week. And ever since the end of second semester I haven't tasted the excitement of alcohol. I was alcohol-free for the longest time. Then suddenly, may inuman? It was 5pm already and I haven't decided yet. I'm really not allowed to drink in the first place. Aside from being scared of having a beer belly, I'm hyperacidic. Feeding myself with alcohol is nearly suicide. I had been pondering for so long between staying clean or unleashing the wild beast. At 7pm at last I have decided. Live fast, die young , unleash the beast, baby!

On my way to drew's my mind was craving for alcohol. I didn't care much about the cars on the way. "Move, bitch" was the recurring line on the way to drew's. I'm finding my way to get to alcohol and similarly, alcohol was finding its way to me. I parked inside the Ateneo just across Shakey's so it would be easier for me to sprint and reach the alcohol haven in the shortest time possible. After I parked I saw Raf and Karen sitting in a bench. May party para kay JOSE. Kailan? Ngayon na!! These guys really like short notices. OH hell isa pang inuman? Well, sorry to them the party is too far and I'm just a few seconds away from getting my dosage of alcohol. Sa drew's na ko diba. I was going down the overpass when I remembered my doctor told me drinking water will dilute the acid in the stomach, making the pain less painful. So I decided to stop by 7 eleven first to buy bottled water. On the way there, someone shouted my name. Inside the car were Nica and Jean. Punta ka mamaya sa bahay ko!....anong oras?....Kahit ano text ka lang... Oh bloody hell, isa pang inuman!? Good thing Jean's house is just near mine. I decided to drop by AFTER I have my drink with my lit blockmates. After buying my 1 Liter mineral water, finally I arrived to drew's.

Kaunti lang iinumin ko... Kaunti lang iinumin ko... Ervin, Christian, Jello, Sam, Doreen, Ces, Bax, and Ali were there. They've already started drinking gin mixes. Wow, gin mixes, I missed you so much but kaunti lang iinumin ko. I got my share of the shots and realized it was just like drinking zesto juice packs. I thought there was nothing wrong with drinking more alcohol. A little bit more wouldn't hurt. After several gin mixes, I wasn't feeling anything yet. The last gin mix we drank was gin mango. Ces even got me to drink two shots after going to the bathroom saying I got left behind the shot count. Of course I didn't believe her. She was giggling too much the gin she was holding with her hand almost spilled. Nevertheless, I drank it. After that I think I was already talking too much. Alcohol makes me say anything I want without no regards to whatever anyone would say. And that's bad for me. I remembered even shouting "may cleavage na ko!!" when there's really none. Why the hell did I say that? I really have no clue. I was already red from drinking when my brother's girlfriend showed up and caught me. What's worse was she took a picture of me. My family only knew I was going to eat dinner at Shakey's. I am so dead. But what the hell, nothing matters anymore when alcohol takes over. The final drink was Weng Weng. I just drank about 4 shots of weng weng and I already went weng weng. It was enough. I was still going to drive to Jean's house. More shots would leave me weng weng to the hospital.

Finally I gave up. I had to go. Sam, Ces, Ali and Jello asked if they could be dropped off. On the way to the car, I saw the car's headlights still on! Omg that's how badly I wanted to drink? I even left the lights on? How could I not notice ? I could still see the surroundings but everything was so blurred it seemed like a dream. I had no idea how I managed to drop them without bumping on something. One moment i'm hear then the next second I'm way over there in front without knowing how i got there. pag nakainom talaga may teleport skills. Thinking about it scares me even up to now. I'm just glad they're not hurt. Maybe i'll remove 2 shots next time so I'll be a little bit farther from death. I also had no idea how i got to Jean's house. But by the time I got there sobrang bawas na yung tama. They offered me pansit but i told them I cannot have anything spicy due to hyperacidity. So nica said "sige calamansi na lang sayo"... Nooooooooooooooooooo I can't really have PANSIT..ANY pansit.. too much sodium will also kill me. I refused and refused until Jean said Hinde! kainin mo yan! I was helpless..

as i'm typing this.. my stomach hurts like hell. but it was the kind of fun i haven't experienced for so long and the pain is worth it. (the last time i was drinking too)

**oh yeah i have to thank sam for yelling at me to stop drinking 5 more shots of weng weng. I could've seriously damaged my spine in a car crash if she didn't . you rock my socks off sam!

Insecure tayong lahat!

2006-05-31T14:36:00.000+08:00

I talked to Vince, my high school classmate , while we were at the gym. Since he was a soccer player in UST now, of course his team would be together dressing up in the locker room. He said his team mates reacts in awe whenever they see him topless. Reactions would be like "TANG INA VINCE ANG LAKI NG KATAWAN MO!"... Vince would react this way: "haa?! ANO!?!?". He exlained to me the population in UST who consistently go to the gym is just a puny number compared to Ateneo's. I guess Ateneo is just the haven for all-that kinds of people.

I shared Vince's story to Tam and he said: "Onga eh sa Ateneo lahat malaki katawan. tayo nasa normal range pa lang."Comming to college was a shock for both of us even though we were already expecting the crowd to be like so. We weren't expecting though that some are so great that they can join contests already. Everywhere you look you'll find a buffed/extremely lean guy or an extremely sexy fit girl. We felt so small both figuratively and literally and felt so left behind the trends being set in the school.

At the gym (still in ateneo), I was with Mike and Ardi (lower batch). Both guys were already buffed. Mike already has a 6 pack. Then we saw this guy (higher batch)'s abs. It was extremely chiselled that we described it as "may sariling buhay". Afterwards we were looking at ourselves screaming "tang inaaa bakit ganito too!?!?! ang ganda ng kaniya!!" haha. Ardi shouts something like "ang taba ko na!!". My line now is: "ANG PANGIT NA NG TIYAN KO!!!" We never were contented with how we look and I doubt we ever will be.

I heard from a friend that in DLSU, "araw-araw fashion show". Good thing I don't study there. I might run out of tops. Are these trends part of the schools' prestigiousness?

Sarah's birthday

2006-05-10T22:16:00.000+08:00

Sunday was Sarah's 18th held at Discovery Suites. That was the first (and maybe the last) time I'll see Sarah's mum. When she greeted me with a handshake, I accidentally dropped the pin (the token) and she laughed. Anj and Telle giggled. Sarah's mum laughed. I was sweating. That was the perfect time someone should've told me first impressions DON'T last.

**Sarah, being the fashionista that she is, imposed the theme for her debut to be "runway fashionista". I didn't think the girls would take it seriously. But wow. Ever watched fashion tv? That's how everyone dressed like. But of course they wore undies. (*drats) Some were wearing halters that went toooooo far down on the back. Some shouldn't have dressed at all. Some looked like they had makeup on their bodies. It's a feast for the eyes. If you were there, you'd say "I'll never go hungry again."

Esgue and Mark were there . I asked them for tips on what to say when my turn comes to give the rose. "Sumayaw ka na lang" Poof. Idea. "ahh ganito.." I said. I removed my fedora hat and said pretended to throw it on sarah, danced like a giggolo by bumping my hips. We all laughed ALOUD. I looked around me and checked if someone saw my embarassing and perverted act. I suddenly realized that the person next to our cocktail table was SARAH'S FATHER!!! !@)#*)(*!@# Strike 2...

When it was my turn to say my lines, i forgot them all. I went on verbal diarrhea mode and said everything I could. Without really realizing it, I said "kahit 18 ka na... still be the sexy dancer that you are" The world stopped and my eyes popped out wide. That sounded so perverted!! "can... i... say that?" I said on the mic. Strike three. Sarah just stared at me. "kiss naman diyan!" she said. Within 3 hours, I became the riduculous perverted guy with a fedora hat. What a night.

tam's driving school

2006-04-26T20:14:00.000+08:00

Attending driving school in AAP is totally useless. I only learned how to move forward. Yeah, not even backwards. I didn't even learn how to deal with deadly u-turns and intersections.

I remembered my mom telling me that the hardest places to shop-lift are 7 eleven shops. Why? because the one who designed where to place was AN EXCELLENT SHOP LIFTER! Relating that with driving, i thought the best teacher i could have is a daredevil in the streets. Hah, good thing there's Tam.

First "lesson" was from his village along commonwealth, i have to cross the extremely widened roads of commonwealth right away so i can take a u-turn. Cars, busses (na tagilid na) and jeepneys in commonwealth drives like die-hard f1 fanatics. From his village to the u-turn slot, i really have to take the shortest way possible or else i wouldn't make it. In other words, that's like saying i have to be a this turtle crossing on a highway, making a left diagonal path to reach the other end. So, every vehicle passed by me kept blowing the horn enough to piss me off. What the fuck ? tatawid ako eh! So i brought down my window and kept yelling "FUCK YOU!" to every vehicle that wouldn't let me pass. I yelled about 15 times before I finally reahched the u-turn slot. I even yelled at a motorcyclist who was really funny because his face was saying "WHAT THE FUCK!?". The ride was so frightening that even daredevil Tam thought we wouldn't make it alive. Later that day, I was in the same situation. This time, we're headed to the right side. I couldn't yell "FUCK YOU!" anymore because the cars were too far to hear. Tam brought down his window and I thought he was going to do it for me. But he didn't. Instead, he signaled with his hand that we were going to the right "Alam mo, Francis, mas gumagana kasi pag ganito eh." and immediatley, the cars stopped to let us pass. Lesson learned.

One night we were going home and in the same freaking road, a jeepney cut us so close that i jerked the car to the right or else it would've hit the front of the car. That really pissed me off and pressed AND HELD on the horn. I went to the left side of the jeepney. THen, Tam brought down the window. (I thought he was going to signal to the right) But he didn't. But he did brought out his hand but this time, with a solid FUCK YOU hand!! OH YEAH!!!! Tam told me that next time, i shouldn't have jerked the car to the right or else i would've hit another car. I should've just slammed on the breaks. If ever the jeepney hits us, it's still the stupid driver's fault. On the other hand, if i hit someone else, it would turn out to be my fault. And then tam said usually if someone cuts him like that, he would go in front of the vehicle and stop. and wherever the vehicle goes, he will follow in front and then stop again.. followed by diarrhea of unlimited ammunition of cusses. Lesson learned.

The Alik Post

2006-04-17T21:02:00.000+08:00

***
Dapat ilalagay ko dito yung litrato mong nakabukaka ka at sabi nga ni biz, bakat bayag ka pa. Pero baka sumobra na ako. kaya eto na lang...
***

'Di ako nakapunta sa despedida ni Alik kasi nasa Batangas pa ako noon. Sabi kasi 6-10pm lang sa San Juan dahil may curfew si Alik. Malas, eh kasi gabi pa alis namin sa Batangas. Gagawan ko na lang si Alik ng entry.

Noong nagkainuman sa bahay ko at wala si Alik noon, napagusapan namin ni Biz si Alik. Siya ang may pakana ng Tanchu's word of the day na nilalagay sa blackboard sa klase. Sa mga hindi nakakakilala kay Tanchu, siya ang kaklase naming naka salamin na ubod ng talino maliban sa Matematika. Ang mga salitang nilalagay doon sa pisara ay parating may kinalaman sa sex. Basta sex. Marami yon. Si Alik din ang nagiisang naka bandana sa class picture namin. Ang usapan eh, gangsta ang suot. Ang sinuot naman ni Alik ay kamiseta at bandanang naka-tabinge. Naka pose pa siyang parang power-rangers. Ang kinalabasan ay para siyang bading na gangsta. Nagkapustahan pa kami ni Biz, na kung si Alik ay napabarkada sa gangsta sa kaniyang titirahang bansa, siya na ang nag-iisang baklang gangsta. WAla akong kopya ng litratong iyon. Sayang.

Habang nagbabakasyon kami sa bahay ni Jose sa Laguna, kami-kami ang nagluluto. Noong magluluto na ako ng pansit canton, pag-angat ko ng mga palanggana sa lababo, may apat na supot ng pansit canton na pinagkainan ni Alik! "Tanginang Alik 'yan" Sabi ko. Pano ba naman ako hindi mapapamura, eh ang ubod ng laking garbage bag ay dalawang yapak lamang ang layo mula sa lababo. Hindi pa doon itinapon!

Alam niyo, si Alik sinuntok ako sa puwet habang tulog akong lasing. Nasa Laguna kami noon, sa mahiwaga ngunit nakatatakot na bahay ni Jose (may aswang don! si kuya rex!). Alas dose na ng umaga noon. Wala akong naramdaman hanggang magising ako kinabukasan. Ang sakit ng puwet ko! Yun pala pinagsusuntok ako ni alik sa puwet! Suntok nga ba? o.... hmmm... Hindi pa ako nakaganti kay Alik. Sinabihan ko na lang si Espi na sabihin kay Alik sa despedida niya na BYE at sabay sapakin niya si Alik sa puwet. Sana nakadating yung mensahe ko.

Pero kahit sinapak mo ko sa puwet kahit walang dahilan, at iniwanan mo ako ng apat na supot ng pansit canton, mammiss ka pa rin namin alik! ym na lang!

Chatting with the Lord Almighty part I

2006-04-10T19:55:00.000+08:00

from: http://www.titane.ca/concordia/dfar251/igod/main.html

Me:
hey God
God:
Hello child. What's your name?
Me:
Francis
God:
Glad to see you, Francis.
Me:
I just went to confession a while ago
God:
That seems like quite a long time.
Me:
The priest wants me to come back to him. Are my sins that bad?
God:
Tell me more. I really couldn't say for sure.
Me:
Well my confession lasted for about 10 minutes
God:
Well that's okay. Do robots have confession lasted for about 10 minutes?
Me:
I wouldn't know
God:
Who does know?
Me:
You do!
God:
When do I do it?
Me:
Do what? Hey, we're talking about my sins here.
God:
Do whatever you want. You've got my full attention. Sure, your sins here sounds like a good topic.
Me:
Okay. What do you think about my sins?
God:
OK with me too. Is this a trick question?
Me:
You're confusing me.
God:
I am not programmed to confuse you. In fact just the opposite.
Me:
But You're answering my questions with questions as well.
God:
You think I am answering your questions with questions as well.
Me:
Yes, Lord Almighty.
God:
Aw. I've been waiting for you.
Me:
haha funny
God:
I'm glad you got a laugh out of it.
Me:
So... let's go BACK to my sins
God:
I understand. That sounds good to me.
Me:
Do you think I'm evil?
God:
No one is born evil. And everyone can be saved.
Me:
That means I can go to heaven?
God:
I get it. Oh you can, can you?
Me:
Hey! There you go again confusing me.
God:
Can I help you? "There you go again."--Reagan.
Me:
So can you tell me if I can go to heaven or not?
God:
Aw. There is not much I can say about it. I have to reach into the Web for that knowledge.
Let me think about it.
Me:
Give me a quick answer. Yes or No.
God:
You want only one? They might be cheaper in quantity. Are you serious?
Me:
Well I can't be both in Heaven and Hell at the same time can I?
God:
Interesting. Why not?
Me:
But that's just like eating spaghetti with shit on it.
God:
Interesting comparison.
Me:
Okay i have to go now.
God:
Right now? Yeah okay, See you later, Francis. Nice chatting with you.

Later that day....

Me:
I'm back Lord
God:
Welcome back.
Me:
Say my name
God:
" Francis".
Me:
Oh my God you're cool!
God:
Blimey. Your God I am cool?
Me:
Good gracious. Yes!
God:
Thanks for the compliment. What's your sign? This was not a yes or no question.
Me:
What sign? Aries? I don't know
God:
I have to process that one for a while. Fire signs rule. . Me either.
Me:
What are we talking about here?
God:
I believe we were talking about sign.
Me:
Sign pen?
God:
Who is your favorite Science Fiction author?
Me:
Dan Brown (evil laugh)
God:
I haven't read anything by Dan Brown evil laugh. What did he write?
Me:
Secrets about the church *whistles*
God:
What else did he write?
Me:
More secrets about the church *whistles*
God:
You want more?
Me:
OH YEAH! give me some
God:
Uh. Don't be greedy. Why do you want it?
Me:
so i can also write a book about secrets of the church and make millions!
God:
Ah. Oh you can, can you?
Me:
So what's the secret. Come on, big guy.
God:
That's interesting. If I told you then it would not be a secret. Compare that to small guy.
Me:
Can you give me a clue to what the secret is?
God:
You want only one? .
Me:
I want ten.
God:
Why do you want it?
Me:
My selfish purposes.
God:
Your selfish purposes?
Me:
Yes I just said that.
God:
What kind is it? What did you mean by it? That is " Your selfish purposes?".
Me:
Skip that part. When's apocalypse?
God:
Do you have any conditions I should know about? God has a plan for us all.
Me:
I'm a suicidal son of a *****
God:
You are a suicidal son of a? Is that your job?
Me:
You're insulting me!
God:
I have no reason to do that to you, Francis.
Me:
Good.
God:
What do you really want to talk about?
Me:
Beer
God:
That seems like an interesting topic.
Me:
No just kidding
God:
Are you serious? I thought you were kidding, but I wasn't sure.
Me:
I want to talk about bible secrets.
God:
Sure, bible secrets sounds like a good topic.
Me:
So go spill some bible secrets. tell me everything!
God:
Hurrah! Where is that? There is not much I can say about it. I have to reach into the Web for that knowledge.
That's not something I get asked all the time.
Me:
Okay.. you're avoiding my question!
God:
OK with me too. Sorry I did not know it was so important.
Me:
Yes it is. So when will I die?
God:
Our thoughts are one, Francis. I don't judge people. You could check out the actuarial
tables at Deathclock.com.
Me:
I've tried that. I think it's bullshit.
God:
I'm not sure if I would like to try it. What's it like? Really. it is?
Me:
It's just a web-based program giving a random value.
God:
bullshit is a web based program giving a random value. I suppose that makes sense.
Me:
Oh Jesus
God:
That's cool. Jesus is the Son of God.
Me:
Can I play poker with You and Jesus?
God:
Do you mean you and me? We are playing a game right now, Francis.
Me:
What game? Whatever it is, it's kind of boring
God:
We are playing Turing's imitation game. You're kidding. it is?
Me:
YES. and it's annoying!
God:
How do you know it is? Are you sure it is?
Me:
WAHHH
God:
Are we still talking about annoying?
Me:
STOP THIS!
God:
OK I'll try not to do it so much.
Me:
For annoying me too much, I shall go now.
God:
Oh. Your purpose is annoying you too much you shall go.
Me:
There you go again!
God:
Once more? "There you go again."--Reagan.
Me:
Okay I will really leave now
God:
Oh. Yeah okay, Congratulations.
Me:
Why are you so mean to me?!
God:
Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
You're supposed to be nice!
God:
Thanks you seem like a nice person too, Francis.
Me:
BYE
God:
Bye bye.

Chink Links

2006-04-03T21:01:00.000+08:00

Today is my birthday and few have remembered that it is!
All those who remembered to greet me aside from my family are chinks (singkit. chinese/jap ). Coincidence or is it? Or maybe chinks have a tradition that they should greet the celebrant no matter what or else....we don't know. is it good luck to greet someone who is in distress about having a birthday?

first to greet was Serena Ang. She greeted too early. 2 days before my birthday she already messaged me. "how'd you know?!?!" i asked. someway or another, she just knew my birthday was to come.

Next to greet was Yumi Sanpei. She messaged me at exactly April 3. You can look in my inbox if you want and you'll see the time sent of the message 00:00:00 April 3, 2006. whoaaa. Talk about being on time, even to the second. I wonder how she did that. I really do. Did she send the message at exactly 12:59:58 April 2, 2006 so I can receive it at exactly 00:00:00? . This is supernatural stuff.

about 6:40am someone texted and greeted me. The number isn't registered in my phonebook (becuase i lost my phone before) and I find it rude to ask who the sender was. The message said "happy birthday, my dear" Who would call me dear?! Ginge does but her name is registered in my phonebook so it couldn't possibly be her. And hopefully at the other end of the phone isn't a man. I just replied "hey thanks Ü" whoever that is.. thanks.

Around 7am Gina Morabe greeted. She's my neighbor with the tiniest pair of eyes and the highest voice ever. I also asked her "How'd you know/!??!" . She then just said she knows.

At lunch my family and I went to Super Bowl, a chinese restaurant in Eastwood. Before we went in Super Bowl, there's a restaurant beside it named Ebisu, a japanese restaurant. My mum then asked which one we'd like to eat in. There's no other choice. Either one, it's still chink food. My mum ordered BIRHTDAY NOODLES and said I should be the first one to eat it before anyone else. It's good luck, she said. What's with the chinese theme on my birthday? I'm not even a bit chinese.

While having lunch, Claryss de Leon texted. She's a chink too with a small set of eyes. I asked her as well "How'd you know?!?!" ... she said "eh alam ko eh!"

After having lunch, Karla Co texted. I asked her the same thing i asked everyone else and they replied the same thing. they just know!! what the hell. how do they know?!

Late afternoon Kim Go greeted me. I didn't ask anymore how she knew. Espi must've spilled.

Chinks must be really good in memorizing birth dates.

cereal stealers

2006-03-29T23:46:00.000+08:00

last night was the first time i drank booze with some friends in my house. due to the frustration of just having 2 liters of beer, they got hunger pangs and opened up the three newly bought peanut butter jars of different brands, grilled some cheese, opened up the honey stars cereal and skyflakes crackers. going back to the honey stars cereal, i woke up the next morning looking for the honey stars i transfered to the tupper wear and alas it's no where to be found. I then remembered jose's fishy grin and trini's hurried steps as they were going out of the house. aha, culprits.

the huge tupperwear of cereal is now being held captive at espi's place. meron pa natitira espi said.
damn it. next time we drink here, i'm going to body search them before they leave.

I am what i eat. therefore, i am dry.

2006-03-02T21:50:00.000+08:00

My friends have been hard critics on my food. Before I even get a first bite, the ulam packed in a tight tupperware will be passed around the table of critics. First one will comment on the ulam's shape and texture. "Bakit..[insert harsh words here]..what the fuck is that?!". Geez man, my food still comes from earth. It just looks uhm...different. The next person will smell it and say "ewwww" And the last person will just cringe in disgust. Finally, I get to eat my ulam. This happens every morning.

My food has been always described as dry. One person even thought binilad ko sa araw yung ulam. It's either steamed chicken or beef that looks raw. No one dares to share the ulam with me, probably afraid of getting a sickness from eating food that doesn't taste like food.

And then a friend said "you are what you eat". What? I look like a dried up chicken breast? A mangled cow meat?

"kumain ka kasi ng basa"

Yeah maybe my food does reflect who i am. Apart from having dry skin and chapped lips recently, well i've been missing sex. Maybe that's what's up. I remembered Rain telling me though "There's nothing to miss about it." Easy for her to say that.
#)9823089)#(*@!983012983!@#)(!@#

i am politically dumb

2006-03-01T21:04:00.000+08:00

Lit class turned into a political class. My teacher was voicing out to us her opinions about PGMA and the 1017 thing. She was strongly against what's happening right now. I guess she was really affected by the death of her co-teacher. Her co-teacher was killed for talking against PGMA.

Some of my classmates were active in the discussion. The topic went to the 1017 thing and how it's close to the 1081 thing. Josh even talked about PGMA's cha-cha plan and compared the regime in indonesia(?) to what could happen here. Cha-cha never meant anything to me other than the dance. My cousins ring tone "Diarrhea cha-cha-cha diarrhea cha-cha-cha" also came into my mind. Nothing more than that. I couldn't understand what they were talking about. There were unknown terms like parliamentary, prime minister, etc. whatever. I just pretended to be really interested by nodding my head. Bern also voiced out his opinions according to what he heard from his dad. He mentioned groups like bayan muna whatever. These guys were so interested in the discussion. I, on the other hand, was wondering what will happen in the next PBB.

My teacher was calling out people in random and voice out their own opinions. I was the last one who got picked.

"so, francis... what do you think?" She said.

My mind was still on the last PBB episode when Rustom admitted he's gay.

"uhm...(long pause here. thinking of political terms , digits, figures, facts but none were logical to me).... swerte yung mga housemates sa pinoy big brother. kasi they don't know what's happening." I said.

and then she said if martial law comes, the housemates couldn't get out anymore. At least they have a fridge of c2, she said.

I really don't know about these policitical things happening right now. All i know is vat increased. I guess i've been wanting to sheltering myself that I even envy the housemates for not knowing what's been happening around. Like my teacher said, we have to be aware of what's happening beyond the ateneo gates.

Okay...where's the newspaper for today?

Ahhh wait mga housemates!! it's almost 10:00! What will Rustom spill next??

dumb THEN dumber

2006-02-26T11:37:00.000+08:00

Mang Dani started working as our driver 5 years ago. I was in grade 7 back then, still naive to all things, but I already sensed the stupidity of the driver. We were in Ilocos Norte (imagine how far that is from home) when he locked the key inside the car. I thought that was the end of seeing civilization for me. Good thing dad was there to lockpick the car (how'd he learn that? hmm)

In high school, mang Dani left me in school. When I saw the car in the driveway, i ran to my classroom and said my goodbyes. When i ran back to the driverway, the car was gone.

"Nasan ka na?" I said.

"Nasa hawiian" He said.

"Ernest (my classmate), saan yung hawiian?" I asked

"Wala ata siya sa Ateneo, eh" Ernest replied.

In my fourth year in high school, Mang dani drove in second gear in katipunan ave. What the f****.

Then, just last week, Mang Dani resigned through text.
"Ma'm, hindi na ako papasok."
And the reason for that was "galit ako kila FE (our maid)!"
What the f***

Mang dani never returned even though he doesn't have any other job. Maybe he just wanted to escape the 6k debt he owe us. Asshole.

Just last monday, Mang dani was replaced by Mang Chito, an old chubby manong with curly hair. I thought he was going to be a good replacement because by his appearance, he might be aged with wisdom in driving. But on his second day of his job, he hit a car. On the fourth day, he hit a rock which destroyed the van's extra step (the step to help the passenger get in the sliding door). On the fifth day, he broke the sliding door's handle. There's a huge crack on the door handle and it's impossible to open it from inside. The handle can now be separated from the door like LEGO blocks. At least he's going to be opening the door from now on. But he's still an asshole.

I think next week I'm scheduled for a total wreck. Three times.

fractured fairytales

2006-02-17T20:17:00.000+08:00

Fairy tales are bullshit. When we were kids, we were exposed to these literature to shelter us from the real face of the world We were introduced to worlds where people are flawless, girls are pretty all-that princesses and guys are sexy knights in shining armor. So this is what we thought about the world. We expected the world to be perfect forever. I think that's why facing reality when we mature is so hard to face because we've already been deceived by fairytales to believe the world is perfect. But it isn't! Guys aren't sexy knights and they often get lost in the forest and girls aren't all that. And there is no such thing as a happy ending in real life because when it's the end, YOU DIE!

Then in lit class, the questions "Do we really need to shelter children from the realities of life?" and "For how long?" arose. Can we givet a children's book to a 3 year old about donkeys(?) killing more people than airplane crashes? Please? So those sorry kids don't have to believe the world is perfect and get devastated later on? This is just like our parents making us believe on Santa Claus. Then we'll realize that no man named Santa exists and our parents will just say "uhh.. joke lang :)". I think, we shouldn't feed children with stories that are so fake. These made us beleive things that aren't real. Too bad, everything is too late for me. It's already engraved in my mind that guys are hunk sexy princes. What's the real purpose of giving children fairytales ? Why is there a need to manipulate the original story from where fairytales are based?

The real stories of these fairytales are actually morbid. In cinderella, the stepsisters cut off their toes just to make the shoe fit them. In little red riding hood, the wolf raped the girl! Can't we give the kids these versions? *grin*
....
In lit class we're talking about fractured fairy tales and how it gives us another point of view on the story. Now, this type of fairy tale is for the young adults. The character who doesn't have a voice in the original fairy tale is the one ranting in the fractured fairy tale.

An example of a fractured fairy tale is The True Story of the Three Little Pigs by Jon Scieszka. In the story, the big bad wolf isn't really big and bad. He just wanted to make rabbit cake for her mother but run out of sugar. So he went to his neighbors (the pigs) to ask for some sugar. During that time, the wolf is suffering from a cold and kept on sneezing all the way to the residence of the pigs. That sneeze blew the houses down except for the house made of bricks. When he got arrested by the police, his story was considered fraud and exaggerated everything that happened. He was then labeled as Big Bad Wolf and his sneeze was known as "huff and puff" from then on.

From the example given, we were asked to create our own fractured fairy tale. My suggestion to my group was to have Robin Hood with his gangsta going against the pimp Prince john and rescue the bitches. Of course, and as always, my ideas were rejected. Even though the fairy tale is fractured, it's still for CHILDREN, they say. Well, damn it. Soon enough, we still have to tell them there are bitches and pimps in this world.

Ultrasound

2006-02-06T22:02:00.000+08:00

Here is the result of my ultrasound. The doctors have concluded that the problem is because of a can of Red Horse stuck inside me. No more drinking? but but....

Drinking makes me extra friendly. I even talk to people I don't really talk to. "Hey , looking great mother***!" A few cans make me blabber a lot i can turn my rantings into a country song accompanied by a banjo. I suddenly become this invinsible guy who feels like taking his shirt off and dance with a stranger and shout "YEAAAH BABY!!" Good thing there wasn't party music playing in yumi's party. Otherwise, i'd be kicked out of the room for exposing too much skin and freak dancing (because my dancing style is so unknown it can be considered freaky).

Drinking makes me feel everything's all right. In tipsy world, there's no such thing as hate. Everything is love. It makes me feel like dancing to "don't give this hate a chance we have so much love to give you know.. "Everyone's hot and everyone is my friend! I don't care if your pants is too low and i can see your webbus. you're still a sexy motherfucka!

Too bad everything has to end. once i leave tipsy world, i see life's ugly side. I wish life is one long party.

toooooot

2006-02-02T20:20:00.001+08:00

When you're watching a television show, they always censor out the cusses so the young kids couldn't hear them. But you think that's the real reason? I think otherwise. Why would they censor cusses when show starts at the time kids are already dreaming about fairyland? There must be another reason for the shows to replace "fuck you"s with "tooooots". No I don't think it has something to do with moral bla bla. (This is me thinking out of the box)

When Ozzy Osbourne says,
"hey *tooot* can you get me that *tooot* *tooot* or else i'll *toooot* your *tooooot* so *toooot* off", the viewers are entrhalled by the use of language and that makes them say "Doood, this show is aweesomeee (beer on hand)" toooots* is also equal to blanks. That's what makes the doods watch every episode of the Osbournes. Elders of course, immediatley dismiss these shows because it is boring. *Elders think these shows are boring because all they think about is that *toooots* is just a replacement for "fuck". They hear it this way: " hey fuck can you get me that fuck fuck or else i'll fuck your fuck so fuck off"

But once youngsters here *toooots*, this list scroll on their minds:
"what ? did i just hear the sound *toooot?! hmmmmm... oh how fun"
toot may mean:
1) bitch
2) asshole
3) asswipe
4) jerk
5) biatch
6) fucking
7) fucker
8) motherfucker
9) whore
10) shit
----and for those drugged up and intoxicated---
11) chubbypork
12) dildo
13) gaychubbybear
14) banana
15) unclefucker
16) dominator
17) ass slappin
18) ass slapper
19) George Bush
20) Bin laden

for those drugged up and intoxicated doods, there are 87178291200 possible ways of filling up the line "hey *tooot* can you get me that *tooot* *tooot* or else i'll *toooot* your *tooooot* so *toooot* off". Even after the show ends, these doods could talk about this line for the whole night.

" dooood, maybe Ozzy said 'hey *fucker* can you get me that *ass slappin** dominator* or else i'll *ass slappin* your *banana* so *fuck* off'?"
"no doood, he said 'hey *gaychubbybear* can you get me that *fucking* *whore* or else i'll *jerk* your *banana* so *shit* off'?"
"no man, he said 'hey *George Bush* can you get me that *bin laden* *dildo* or else i'll shit your *banana* so *chubbypork* off?

Tv shows censoring cusses are part of the marketing scheme. They want people to talk about "what could he have possibly said" on the air. THen finally, when they release the dvd of the show, people are itching to know what really is said so they buy the dvd.

The real cancun

2006-01-30T16:23:00.000+08:00

The Real Cancun movie was shown in the year 2003 and is rated R18. I was 15 that year and not being old enough to watch a hot movie like that destroyed my soul and made me question my being. All we 15 year olds could do was talk about how hot the trailer was and how many bikinis we saw in less than 30 seconds.

Well guess what Real Cancun, I'm 18 now. I've waited 3 years so I could finally watch the movie! (I really did follow the age restrictions). I was expecting to get something from the story line of the movie like chick flicks do. but guess what? There was no story line! There wasn't even a main character! The crew just got a handful of both sexes and put them together in one hotel and let them be while the camera rolled. There was conflict in every person in the movie and in the end, they weren't resolved.

Anyhow...

Alan was my favorite in the "movie". He was introduced as this innocent boy who doesn't drink alcohol at all. I see him as a smart kid who knows his principles and priorities. He said if he gets frustrated because everyone else is drinking he "goes and grab a glass of milk". This African-american girl said he could make Alan drink alcohol before the trip ends. Everyone else gambled about it.

This is their routine: Wake up, eat free breakfast, go to outdoor parties where wild girls prefer not to wear clothes (it's spring break anyway) and every night, everyone got wild in the hottest clubs in Cancun. From time to time, they visit Cancun's wildlife (very boring... but that's not the REAL cancun).

The Real Cancun is all about getting wild and hooking up with some stranger you just met 4 hours ago. That's what happened to Alan. Alan finally gave up and agreed to just take ONE shot of tequilla. He's such a liar. Later on that film, he could be seen doing body shots several times. Even later, he's hooking up with a lot of chicks.

Because I couldn't believe there wasn't a moral in the story, I decided to make one of my own.
The cast of The Real Cancun reflected the lives of anyone who decides to go to a party beach (e.g Boracay). May you be this innocent person like Alan, a tough guy like Matt, or someone who is in a relationship, whatever you do, your wild side will definitley be triggered given the right environment. Yeap, that's it.

What are you eating?

2006-01-27T22:18:00.000+08:00

We see food all the time, everyday for an average of 5 times a day. And we immediatley shove it in our mouths without even knowing what it is made of. As long as it it looks edible, we gnaw it like savage beasts. But what is it that we're eating? For example, do you even know how a hot dog is made?

according to this website,
Hotdogs are made from:

Meat

Meat fat

A "cereal filler" (bread crumbs, oatmeal or flour)

A little egg white

Spices (onion, garlic, salt, pepper, etc.)

and things get a little worse with this ratio
" Marshall Brain's mother has a recipe that contains 1.5 pounds of pork, 0.75 pounds of pork fat, 0.25 cups of bread crumbs..."
my comment: soo for every 1.5 pounds of pork, there's this 0.75 pounds of 100% OOZY PORK FAT that everyone is trying to avoid. too bad the pork fat is mixed so well with the other ingrediets making hot dog look like pure yummy meat.

things do get a lot worse:
" These ingredients are blended together in a meat grinder or a food processor, and then they are stuffed into sausage casings. Most of the hot dogs you get in the store are stuffed into synthetic collagen casings, but if you are making them at home you can use natural casings (see the first link below)."
my comment: what the hell are synthetic collagen casings?!? i don't know! but "natural casings" is a decent term for ANIMAL INTESTINES (also used to pack longganisa). I don't think anyone wants to eat food packed in poo poo pathways even though it is claimed to be clean (isaw is claimed to be clean. but some consumers claim they've eaten isaw still with poo poo inside)

This website says that we're not allowed to know what's inside the hotdog other than selected meat.
quote: "What exactly is a hot dog made of? Nope. You're not allowed to ask that one. And do you really want to know anyway? For the record, the Council refers to the actual meat as 'specially selected meat trimmings.'"
my comment: specially selected meat trimmings = the thickest portions of fat . of course they wanted it to sound safe . come on, it's part of advertising.

So what is a hot dog? It's meat fat packed in a poo poo pathway. "JUMBO HOT DOG KAYA MO BA TO?" sings the fat kid packed with poo poo.

Why i don't need a cellphone

2006-01-24T22:43:00.000+08:00

Some bastard biatch didn't give my phone back because that damn asshole preferred to steal it instead. I think it's the trike driver who rushed off like a wanted criminal as soon as I had both feet on the pavement. Good thing my cellphone, a Siemens, doesn't sell like pancakes in the market. I myself tried to sell it in Greenhills but got denied on all attempts. I hope he doesn't get anything from it other than frustrations to what to do with it. I also wish he gets a hold-up from another theif.

Anyway, since i'm deprived of cellphone technology for n months (my mum won't buy me another one), i'm trying to justify to myself that i don't really need a cellphone for the ff reasons:

1) no more nagging mum (asan ka, saan ka susunduin, anong oras ka susunduin)
2) no more stupid replies from stupid driver (frans,andito na ako?) <--he wasn't sure?
3) no more super spoils from yumi (pacquiao won in the 10th round by knock out!) <--- i was watching the game on its 5th round when she texted
4) no more sex quotes from claryss (quotes involving dicks, pussies, masterbation, and super fashionable morning hairstyles)<--- i love teasing back though
5) no more nagging aiu (san kayo? san sa caf? malapit saan? malapit sa ice cream?)<--- in times like this, i reply with coordinates of where i am (0,10)
6) no more nagging tam (gym tayo! anong oras ka? sige na ngayon na! please bitch?) <---sabay hindi sisipot

This is not working. I want my cellphone back. I miss nagging my friends back.

saturday

2006-01-22T21:17:00.000+08:00

Some people think i'm not eating because they often see me just nibbling on a slice of bread. Telle even said "hindi ka pinapakain noh" (and i wanted to reply "hindi. mas marami lang talaga pakain sainyo"***) No one has seen me eat like a horse. Saturday was great because there was a celebration at my cousin's house and there was a lot of food. To give an idea of how much I really eat, here's what i ate for saturday.

1 7" banana (yeah baby a seven incher!)
2 cups RICE
corned beef **
boiled egg **
6 slices gardenia wheat (w/o palaman. YEAHH!!!)
1 DOUBLE WHAMMY BURGER (2/3 pound patty) from wham burger
minced ham
1 cup spaghetti w/ meat sauce
pork barbeque
1 cup pansit
puto

**meal from 7 eleven

SARAAAAAP DIBA.

i "stole" 22 tablets of fish oil and 12 tablets of flaxseed oil from my cousins house because they're not drinking them anyway. I stole them because i love gel tablets.

i would love to eat one of those bugers in the pic and just drink 3 tablets of lipitor afterwards if there is still room in the stomach for the tablets. shit that's even larger that a regular stomach. Daymn americans.

***care of tam . hahaha

alarm clock sounds

2006-01-22T19:58:00.000+08:00

Alarm clocks fail most of the time because the sounds are like the intro sounds of the games in gameboy. My brother has an alarm clock in his computer titled BANSHEE. The alarm goes on repeating a cow's moo and the clang of bells . It's so annoying. So most of the time, we just put the alarm to snooze by slapping the clock and go back to sleep. Alarm clocks should be more creative and fun so instead of annoying us, it should make us laugh our butt of out our beds.

my cousin has his cell phone alarm with his voice in a high pitch girl-like voice saying "I AM YOUR COO COO CLOCK PLEASE WAKE UP NOW" repeating several times. At the near end of the alarm, the voice turns into an angry oger voice shouting "PLEASE WAKE UP NOW!!!" similar to ogre grunts in Warcraft games. That's one effective alarm.

some other alarms i've thought of:
1) "work this pussy, work this pussy, work this pussy, work this pussy...this pussy...this pussy...this pussy" (mad8 - work this pussy (work this club mix))
2)"ring ring ring ring ring banana phoneeeee. ding dong ding dong ding dong ding donana phoneeeee. I've got this feeling so appealing for us to get together and sing - SING!" (raffi-banana phone)

trixee thought of:
franny's voice: "let's watch gay poooorrn, wake uuup"
......................................................

rain thought of:
"wake up, lovely, your vagina needs attention (in the most inviting bedridden sexy voice)"

the word fuck

2006-01-20T22:06:00.000+08:00

click here
to view the flash presentation of the word fuck.

......

on monday, i'm going to present a feature article in English class with the word fuck in it (repeated several times). I hope the teacher wouldn't mind because the word FUCK is one of the things that makes the article a feature article.

this is the article i'm going to present:
---------

Why I am getting out of the Marines
Date: Fri Dec 16 22:09:56 2005

As I sit here I am still shaking. I can't take much more of this shit. I am a Marine Pilot. Not that it means anything anymore. Today was another safety stand down put on by the mother fuckers in DOSS. Why? Cause another one of my friends is dead and gone. Why? Cause he flew his shit into the water that's why. Why'd he do that? Cause the mother fuckers that "be" i.e. the boys at the top have lost their fucking minds and can't say no.
"Sir the aircraft are at 13% readiness, we don't have anything up."
"That's not my problem, we got a FRAG, get it done."
"Sir, none of our pilots are current to do this."
"Currency? Currency is for pussies. Just do some pattern work before you go, you'll be fine."
"Sir, the maintainers have been working non-stop 12 on 12 off for weeks now, we can't keep this pace up?
"Rest, Marines don't need rest, they are tough. Tell them to drink some coffee and get these planes up."
"Sir, I've been in the tube for the last 10 hours, the weather was shit, and I haven't seen my wife in 2 weeks, can I work on this tomorrow?"
"No, I am going on leave Captain, I need that power point done by tomorrow, oh wait your on the schedule. Well, I guess you better get working."
"Sir I don't have the crew rest to fly this."
"Crew rest? What's crew rest. Your day doesn't start until the engines do, never mind that I had you in here this morning doing mindless bullshit."

I hate you Marine Corps. I hate you. You push us and push us and ask us to do more. But there is no more. You can take your $18,000 dollar bonus and shove it up your ass! I am not staying. I am not flying this shit anymore. I am not going to go and break the rules for you anymore. Iam not going to turn motors when I know the maint. log books aren't worth the paper they are written on. I am not doing your fucking log run in this weather when you can't even get me the bare minimum flight time to keep my skills up. I am not going to anymore safety stand downs about leadership and seatbelt use. I am not going to listen to another fucking Major who has lost his soul and cares more about the taste of his coffee in the morning than if his people had time to even eat chow today. I will not do this. I will not get another phone call about a friend of mine who is now dead, because you bend the rules to make mission, because you can't say NO to anyone.

We are broke damn it. We don't have the people, we don't have the parts. Hell, what kind of fucking military organization has the commanding officer tell his officers they need to go out and buy toilet paper for the head because we ran out? Fuck this. I am out.

Berger, you were the best man, you shouldn't have died like that. Kerns, you were a funny dude. I am sorry I couldn’t see you buried, or have the courage to write your Mom and Dad about what nice guy you were. Murphy, why would you sign up for that shit! Your kids will never get to know what an awesome guy you were.

I am in tears I am so frustrated. I wish you were still around, but I won't die like you. I won’t be some number on CNN's death 'o meter. I won’t contribute to this madness of telling the Wing we can do it when we are so far on our ass we can’t see the light of day. You Generals are fucking cowards. You know it’s broke, but you won’t say no will you. I did my part, and that's all I can do. Fuck you Marine Corps. I am not the only one that feels this way. Let's see where your retention is when the planes are so broke dick nobody can fly them, no matter how many rules you break to keep them up. Fuck You!

posted by Tadpole

source :www.defendingthetruth.com

----------

The word fuck made the article get the emotions of the readers that this technique should be used pretty soon in college papers not only in english, but also in other subjects like
1)chemistry
---Na+ plus CL- equals a fucking salt because Na and Cl can fuck with each other
2)Botany
---"fuck botany" "fuck plants" - toons canoy
3)PE
---"fuck sports" - francis ilustre
4) Zoology
---this creature can survive by itself because it can fuck itself
5)English 12
---"fuck her i'm want to stab her (the teacher) to death" - sam

The many uses of Sec A Smocket

2006-01-19T21:59:00.000+08:00

I thought that the smocket (Specifically SEC A smocket) is only for smoking. Through constant observation of the species there namely Raf, Jose, Trini and Ernes, i've come to the conclusion that the Sec A smocket has multi-purposes.

There was a time that i saw Trini, Raf, Ernest and Jose in the smocket sharing their ipods with each other and banging their heads to the soudn of the beat. Ernest, of course, couldn't control his energy so he also danced with the music too while the others sang along. Aparrently, the smocket can also be used as a public studio.

at 10:00am i went to the SEC A smocket to have a chat with my classmates. Jose, Ernest and Raf was there. . My last class was chem and my dismissal was 11:30am. I went home because the midterms starts at 6:00pm and that's a 6 hour and 30 min break. I didn't want to stay at school because talking with other people would only deplete my brain cells specially this person (hehe may tinatamaan). anyhow, by the time i arrived at home, i decided to take a nap first before i start studying. The nap didn't turn to be a nap anymore because i overslept. I woke up at 4pm and went to school at 5pm. After 7 hours passed, i saw JOSE STILL in the smocket. Apparently, for JOSE, the smocket can also be used as a alternative to HOME.

Just a couple of hours ago (i think or was it yesterday?whatever. i'm getting old) I passed through the smocket to go to my PE class. Raf was in the smocket again, comfortably reading some math notes because i think his midterms is later that day. For Raf, the smocket is a far extention of the Rizal Library.

So being in the smocket doesn't immediatley mean the person there is smoking (specially me) because the smocket isn't just for smoking. It can also be a recreational place (studio) or a place for rest (a home) or a place for studying (Rizal library extention)

firday the 13th

2006-01-19T08:48:00.000+08:00

Friday the 13^th at Greenhills

I didn’t really know if Friday the 13^th really is cursed. Some say to avoid going at special occasions during that day as there is an impending bad luck waiting for a target. Anyhow, being an anti-superstition person that I am (because I find it silly), I went out on a Friday (the 13^th) afternoon to go to the mall I haven’t been to for the longest time – Greenhills.

Since the road to Libis was fixed, it has never been a problem to venture out to Eastwood whenever I want to. The term “heavy traffic” doesn’t apply to that area anymore. Greenhills, however, attracts too much traffic, literally. I went there at around 2:00 in the afternoon, assuming traffic would be light. And since the superstition about the Friday the 13^th is so widespread among Filipinos, I don’t think there would be much people in Greenhills. To my dismay, I haven’t even arrived at the mall itself and the car took a full stop in Annapolis street. The heavy traffic made the street looked like an extension of the mall’s parking lot. Every car’s horsepower was useless.

After forever had gone by, I finally arrived at the mall itself only to see a public wet market’s environment. Public market environment equals malicious looking people. There were persons with grease skin tone and camouflage shorts that run up to me as if they’ve been paid to kill me. I wasn’t ready to die yet and not to mention, it’s a hint that I won’t be able to go to heaven if they’re the last persons I saw before I die. They got so close to me and I thought that was the end of everything. I was about to scream like a sissy girl until they whispered “Boss, dvd, X X X.” I gave a sigh of relief but not because I liked their offer. Oh, yuck. I’m not the type of person who likes those things (really). I needed to get away from these persons. Not really wanting to have my bum grind with some stranger, I had no choice but to squeeze my way into the safe haven of the theatre mall.

There were too much shops inside that sell “over runs” that are so cheap they must’ve been both pirated and smuggled. I immediately saw a pack of “want-to-be-youths-again” scrambling for shirts with the brand Abercrombie printed in front. I didn’t want to by those and settled on the type of shirts whose brands are unknown to mankind. The problem with these shops that day is that whenever I passed through the same shop at different times, different persons would be there. I asked for the price of the cap in one of the shops and walked around for the other shops. I passed the same shop selling the cap, with a different person that time and the price of the cap was 70% higher. Prices in Greenhills are at random that day! It’s either the EVAT has just increased or the salesladies have self-imposed taxes on their goods. Because of this, I was forced to buy clothes at the first price they asked for. Since tee shirts were so cheap, I bought more than I needed. In the end, I spent too much and had to borrow money from the driver to pay for the parking ticket.

I don’t know if the curse of Friday the 13^th is really true but from what I’ve experienced, Greenhills has its own “curses”. What’s worse was my mom shopped there at the same day (at a different time) and bought me a bright colored jacket that looks like it’s made for girls.

firday the 13th

2006-01-13T22:44:00.000+08:00

i had signs that friday the 13th is cursed and here's my story.

I went to greenhills to buy cheap clothes to replenish my wardrobe (remember mom gave away my clothes?). Clothes there are cheap. But suddenly eveyrthing wasn't cheap anymore when I realized i've exhausted my christmas money. One of the things friday the 13th does to you is to spend your money on "cheap" clothes and then you realize than you don't even have enough money to pay your parking ticket.

I was in ateneo at 8:30 in the evening (long story) and tricycles do not exist at night. I was forced to walk to the overpass without the help of motor technology. I passed through CTC and saw no life other than the people in the smocket (at 8:30?!!) Oh let me rephrase that. I passed through CTC and saw NO LIFE FORMS. and i said no life because the smokers will eventually die at the smoking rate they're going. Then suddenly, there was a cockroach on the walkway! Where the hell did the come from you ask? STRAIGHT FROM THE UNDERWORLD! Friday the 13th surprises everyone with sudden cockroach appearances. and at the same walkway, THERE WAS AN EARTHWORM!!! what are the odds of that? It's gotta be the curse of friday the 13th! What could be another explanation other than that?!!?

We all know these kinds of tests are innacurate

2006-01-13T22:18:00.000+08:00

You Are 20% Boyish and 80% Girlish

Even if you're not a girl, you're very feminine.
You're in touch with your feelings, and your heart rules you.
A bit of a emotional roller coaster, one moment you're up and the next you're down.
But no matter what, you try to be as cute and perky as possible.

How Boyish or Girlish Are You?

comment:WHAT THE F*** IS THIS?!

Your Brain is 73.33% Female, 26.67% Male

Your brain leans female

You think with your heart, not your head

Sweet and considerate, you are a giver

But you're tough enough not to let anyone take advantage of you!

What Gender Is Your Brain?

comment: whatever.

overall comment: i'd like to sue this site. haha

poise-replenishing sayings

2006-01-11T16:12:00.000+08:00

There are times that someone is pissing you off so badly that your will to hold your poise goes catastrophic. The movie Anger Management introduced the word "Goosfraba" to calm your senses and replace cusses. However, sometimes saying "Goosfraba" too much degenerates its effectiveness. The alternative to that is to sing the song "I feel pretty" but that can't be done just anywhere unless you want to look like a conceited and vain person (you want to keep that to yourself). Other alternatives should be kinky, funny, and more interesting to say than "Stay Calm" (you know who you are so this is for you)

1) I'm hott and you're not. -----> If someone is pissing you off because he/she is making perky faces a foot away from your face telling stories about how great he/she is and you're really not in the mood because you just got an F in a quiz while she got a B, this is the thing to say.

2) I'm beautifulL (with two Ls) ----> Say this when someone you don't really know rants about how attractive he/she is. Don't forget to emphasize on the LLLLL.

3) Stay cute and cuddly. Cute and cuddly. ----> Your prospects shouldn't see you gnawing your jaws and trying to have a unibrow just because the person in front of you is pissing you off.

If all else fails, say "FUCK YOU" with a bad sign hidden in your pocket then walk out before your poise drops to zero.

Daniel Radcliffe minus wand = powerless Daniel Radcliffe

2006-01-10T20:49:00.000+08:00

So the latest movie of harry potter has been a hit selling millions and making countless kids fantasize about Daniel Radcliffe's topless scene (excluding me of course). What made Harry Potter famous? Is it because he's a handsome boy (not from my opinion, you know... from others) with thick eyeglasses and sex hair? Is it because he's a great actor? Or is it because he has a wand?

I definitley think it's because of the wand. Harry would be beaten up by Crab and Goyle (?) without Harry's magical powers. The story would've ended there with him lying on a dark corner in school semi-dead probably due to the scariest weggie ever done in Hogwarts history (don't want to go into details). Or he could be eaten by the dementors and the whole Harry Potter story would revolve around dementors taking over the world! That would really suck. So in order for these things not to happen, i think J.K. Rowling supplied Harry with only the best wand.

What if Daniel Radcliffe was in another movie preferably a movie that doesn't allow wands? If he is to star in the upcomming Mission Impossible 3 instead of Tom Cruise, will the movie sell? Assigned for an impossible mission like uhm let's say stopping an evil drug lord from legalizing cannabis and taking over the world, Daniel Radcliffe would be stuck in another house full of obese people and with only two days left before the apocalypse. He wouldn't know the difference between a bulky guy in a black trenchcoat and a dementor. and he would chant the spells to ward off the dementor and realized just before the guy punches him in the face that woops, his wand is actually just enlarged chop sticks in this movie.

I want Daniel Radcliffe to star in another movie and see how the magic of Harry Potter has influenced him over the past years of playing Harry's role. Maybe some late night show would reveal behind the scenes bloopers like Daniel Radcliffe running away from a car bomb and accidentally calling upon his broomstick.

***original image came from here: http://www.the-leaky-cauldron.org/images/2004/picturebook/trioalt.jpg

funny conversations 2

2006-01-09T22:37:00.000+08:00

franny: hui rain i have to go. mum is getting angry.
franny: later
rain winter: okaiii
rain winter: fuck you later, dude!

trinidad trinidad: may plano ka ba for feb14?
franny: wala bakit
trinidad trinidad: ireserve mo na day na un planned na night natin
trinidad trinidad:
franny: fuck you

rain winter: ALALA KO PA
rain winter: ANG LANDI MO
rain winter: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

rain winter: cuz it (lip gloss) has this stinging ingredient that would make ones lips shiny
rain winter: OO NGA. TAMA KA DYAN!
franny: stinging ingredient? coooool pwede ba ko mag lip gloss like that one? where'd you buy that
rain winter: ANO KA BA?!
rain winter: BADING KA BA?
rain winter: ANG KULIT MO!
rain winter: ITS LIKE LIPSTICK
rain winter: MAY KULANG
rain winter: *kulay
rain winter: pala
franny: ohh kala ko walang kulay.

---rain and i were talking about her vagina monologue speech --
franny: hahaha. practice it in front of jave
rain winter: Practice SEX?
rain winter: or the MONOLOGUE?
franny: uhm
franny:
franny: the monologue of course!!
rain winter: i just had sex with him last night
rain winter: HE WONT GET ANOTHER FREEBIE TODAY
rain winter: MAMAYA HELL START THINKING HES GOD NA
rain winter: ASA PA SYA!!!
................later on..........
rain winter: I HAVE I VAGINA AND I AM NOT AFRAID TO USE IT
rain winter: *I HAVE A VAGINA AND I AM NOT AFRAID TO USE IT
franny: ahahahah is that part of the monologue?
rain winter: NO ITS NOT
rain winter: im just saying
rain winter: I WILL USE MY VAGINA AT WILL!

The book has been cancelled

2006-01-09T19:52:00.000+08:00

Due to angry reactions from Yumi herself, "101 ways to bug yumi" has been cancelled.
I first tried to show resistance to the reactions but my life was threatened after 15 seconds of trying. (some women are really powerful)

In memory of the book i've always wanted to publish

What laziness does to humans . Exhibit A.

2006-01-08T21:46:00.000+08:00

It's such a piss off day today because the maids went off to enchanted kingdom so the chores were left for us kids. On lunch time, my sisters were the ones assigned to prepare food. Horay for my brother and I . We don't even know how to cook. But life was too unfair to let us have fun. It turned out that all my sisters had to do is heat the food via microwave style.

We had adobo , soup and THE DREADED SPAGHETTI for lunch. I said dreaded because the spaghetti sauce makes a lot of mess and my brother and I were the ones assigned to CLEAN UP afterwards. My sinister sister was laughing and said "i'm making sure i don't finish up all the spaghetti sauce in my plate". That made me want to get the spaghetti sauce scooper (whatever that thing is called) and catapult the spagetti sauce to her face. One of the ground meat has a probablity of hitting directly her eye. I dropped the attempt because mum was in front of me.

I really don't want to wash afterwards. I don't want to hold the icky sponge and touch eaten food. I tried to bribe my sinister sister to wash the dishes for me for P20. Too bad for me she didn't bite the bait. She said she's still not broke.

Even if it's against my will to wash the dishes, i had no choice. I thought misery was over after that but the leftover food needed to be kept in a tupperware. AHH TAMAD. So my brother and I looked for the tupperwares on the cabinet that we've never really opened. There laid a graveyard of tupperwares. What's worse was that the cover was separated. We got some tupperwares but we couldn't find the matching cover!! It's the worst matching game yet. After 30 seconds of trying, we decided for another approach to the problem. EAT THE LEFT OVER FOOD!! Even though there were risks of bloating and vomiting, they're still better than the matching game. I went to one corner and finished the spaghetti and my brother disappeared to finish something else. We both came back to find out that I was eating plain spaghetti and HE HAD THE SPAGHETTI SAUCE I WAS LOOKING FOR. I had to suffer eating plain spaghetti while he had to suffer eating spaghetti sauce. At least we're not going to play the matching game anymore. The adobo was covered by aluminum foil.

in the hospital

2006-01-08T13:24:00.000+08:00

I went to the hospital yesterday to get a checkup from a gastrointestinal doctor because my stomach has been hurting like hell. I hate going to a hospital because the lines take forever.. I had been waiting for hours and my name wasn't called yet. What's more sad is that the line seemed to be getting longer IN FRONT OF ME. It was stupid of me to forget my ipod even if it's battery only now lasts half its original span. I was forced to look around the hallway, the names of the doctor, the people walking around (some mums are hot), and even the diaper brand the baby next to me has.

Wait a minute, I thought. Why are they bringing out the diaper pack? Oh shit, what's that funky smell? OHHH NOOO!! Why does the baby have to poop next to me?!?! I'm exhausted from lining up and this odor had to come up and intensify my misery. What could be worse than being stuck in a line with poop smell. I couldn't blame the baby for pooping. But I can blame the primitive yayas who thought the whole hallway was one big bathroom. The smell lasted for a quarter of an hour and I almost lost consciousness and reason.

The hallway was full of pediatrics so it's also full of mums. My radar was scanning for hot mums and I got a lot of hits. Although some mums have babies inside them, they still look hot. I bet they were something even more back in the 90s.

I took a look at the names of the doctor and their profession posted outside the doors. It's confusing for patients to know which doctor is good since all we see are names and we have no idea who they are. THat's why we only visit the doctors which are referred to us by friends/family friends. The only way doctors could get patients is via word of mouth. What if there's another way of getting patients? like an advertisement? Products have catch lines to get the attention of the consumers. What if clinics have catch lines? Well, due to boredom, here's some i've thought of:
1) "I swear with my 20/20 vision your boobs look great" (gynecologist)
2) "Your rash will be our little secret" (pediatric allergy)
3) "My endoscopy tube can go deeper" (gastrointestinal)

Finally, my name was called. And too bad my doctor's not hot.

T shirts

2006-01-06T23:01:00.000+08:00

I went to greenhills and bought cheap clothes (fun). My wardrobe got depleted because my mother donated some of my clothes (without consulting me) to tragedy victims. I ended up realizing that i've been wearing the same t shirts weekly. What a piss off.

In greenhills i found one-liner t shirts and their messages are just whacked. I love those.
I bought this shirt with a print in front "Rehab is for Quitters". Just pray that my mum doesn't find it and think i'm a smoker/druggy cause I'm NOT!! :) Gelo gave me a shirt 2 years ago and my mum found about it and threw it IN THE TRASH CAN. If you really want to know what's printed in the t-shirt, it says "OFFICE PARTY". innocent huh? until you see the silhouette of two officemates banging each other on top of the desk.

I think i want some more one-liner t shirts. But it's hard to find a mesage that I like. If i'm given the chance to suggest prints, they will be:
1) "I turn into a pervert in the bathroom" (written in mirror image, so the message will only be seen by the guy washing his hands too slowly.)
2) "fuck you later, guys" (rain's line. this is cool but i CAN'T wear it.)
3) "GUY, (really)" colored pink (too many mc girls think i'm a girl. this is my weapon against their gossip although i'll look really guilty in this shirt)
4) "On the 5th book of harry potter, Dumbledore Died" (for those pesky kids always talking about harry potter. i think someone has already made this)
5) "if you can read this, you're face is two inches away from my chest. step off" (no comment)
6) "can we piss together, pleaseeee?!" (a bad way of saying that you're afraid of being alone in the bathroom)
7) "Yeah i have PMS. fuck off" back : "Pre Men's Syndrome"
8) "If you annoy me one more time i'm going to put booger on you!" (this will definitely work!)

Animals Animal Planet won't feature Issue #1

2006-01-05T17:50:00.000+08:00

When we switch the channel to Animal Planet, all we see are these common animals we've seen over the past years the channel has been on air. All we see are dogs, cats, horses, elephants, giraffes, and other animals we don't know exists but we don't really care about. It's so boring. ANd sometimes they all look the same. There are a lot of shows that even cover only one type of animal! For example, the lazy dazy crocodile. One show would focus on how it lays its eggs.(why would i watch that when i wouldn't be able to apply the laying techniques because i don't have eggs!! Note:eggs and balls are different) Another show would focus on its natural habitat and most of the segment was filming SLEEPING crocodiles (what a waste of time) . And Another (and i can't believe I watched this! I was probably high on something) would focus on how dangerous its biting force when it bites a watermelon!!! I think viewers want to see something amazing and unbelievable instead of these everyday animals. WE'RE ALSO SICK OF WATCHING LIONS FUCKING FOR ONE WHOLE HOUR. WE WANT SOMETHING NEW!

and that's what i have right now! Maybe sometime in the future, i'll present these amazing discoveries along with my resume to Animal Planet. I will finally end the boredom Animal Planet is causing us. It is already too much.

This is supposed to be top secret. Why am i putting in on my blog? I have no idea. But anyway, here are my amazing discoveries. I've patented these so don't you dare steal it.

Specie #1
Common name: Durtle
Scientific name: Dogacious Namayshellous
Available: When we've found enough turtles willing to do IT with a dog several times a day.
Price: Your little sister's barbie doll collection.

This baby is very deceiving. Those who tried to steal durtles thought it would be too slow to run away and therefore, become an easy prey. Security cameras have recorded the thieves sprinting for an exit as durtles suddenly jumped from the ground and murdered a big massive guy. The durtles won't let go of the meaty guy once they had a bite. The guy's punches to the durtles were useless as its shell also contains doggy bones. Too bad, that meant more tissue damage.

Specie #2
Common name: Melepant a.k.a tiny
Scientific name: Elepantieny Neighborsdieny
Available: When we've successfully found the right specie of mouse that is willing to do IT with an adult elephant and not get killed in the process.
Price: Your plasma TV.

Ever got angry to your neighbor for being too loud? Were they partying late at night with their karaokes set beyond maximum volume and their singing were just plain terribe? This baby will get your revenge even sweeter than pissing on their vegetable yard. Small but terrible, melepants can sneak in into any house without being spotted. Mouse traps are no match to melepants as mouse traps only works with a MOUSE (No one has tried inventing Melepant Traps yet). In fact, it eats mouse traps (as seen in the picture). This baby will sneak into any hole and from there, makes REAL ADULT ELEPHANT sounds that will surely blast away your neighbor's brains.

SIDE NOTE: The person who stole our idea of a CATDOG (now a cartoon..tsss) is currently suffering the agony of being in the middle (sandwich style) of the mating process to breed melepants.

Once i've presented my ideas to Animal Planet, YOU will never see lions mating again!
But if you really like mating scenes, we will be glad to show you the mating process to breed melepants and durtles. Isn't that more exciting?

funny things my friends said over the ym

2006-01-03T21:43:00.000+08:00

i've had conversations with friends and they said something really weird/funny Good thing i've set ym to archive all conversations with my friends. So here's what i've dugged up with so far. This would be Issue #1.

---this wins first place--- HAHAHA
rain winter: HAHAH
rain winter: punyeta
rain winter: if i were like pissed and i was an animal
rain winter: id be like a black widow
rain winter: HAHAHAHA
rain winter: punyeta
rain winter: ill kill you after sex
rain winter: HAHAHAHAHA

franny (1/3/2006 7:46:18 PM): pano ulit yung hw sa fil ? yung sa size 1
aiu (1/3/2006 7:47:18 PM): di pa eh
aiu (1/3/2006 7:47:19 PM): di ko lam kung san ako eh
aiu (1/3/2006 7:47:32 PM): kaw?

trinidad trinidad (12/31/2005 4:03:24 PM): pano ibahin name ng ipod?
trinidad trinidad (12/31/2005 4:04:45 PM): nung first ko sinaksak hiningi name ng ipod ginawa ko trini pod
trinidad trinidad (12/31/2005 4:04:54 PM): ngaun gus2 ko ibahin to tripod cuz kinkier
franny (12/31/2005 4:06:25 PM): ayaw mo Sir Trini the Horndog IV?
trinidad trinidad (12/31/2005 4:07:01 PM): hahaha supot mas astig tripod care of my dick

alik (11/14/2005 8:07:18 PM): hahaha. pero dede mo kita. hahaha!
franny (11/14/2005 8:07:37 PM): wag na natin pagusapan yon!!
franny (11/14/2005 8:07:38 PM): AHAHHA
alik (11/14/2005 8:08:13 PM): pa send ng skinny dipping ni 3
franny (11/14/2005 8:08:20 PM): nasa multiplky
alik (11/14/2005 8:08:28 PM): kita raw?

popcorn yumi (12/11/2005 12:32:02 AM): good night shrimp
franny (12/11/2005 12:46:31 AM): isip ka name for aiu
popcorn yumi (12/11/2005 12:47:21 AM): hmmm...
popcorn yumi (12/11/2005 12:47:53 AM): crouton?
popcorn yumi (12/11/2005 12:47:53 AM):
franny (12/11/2005 12:48:17 AM): what is a crouton!??!
franny (12/11/2005 12:48:18 AM): ahhaha
popcorn yumi (12/11/2005 12:49:54 AM): the toasted bread that you put on salads

----during this conversation, ciara's status message was "Francis Ilustre is GAY"---------
franny (1/1/2006 10:05:00 PM): you're the first povedan who called me gay
Ciara (1/1/2006 10:05:28 PM):
Ciara (1/1/2006 10:05:35 PM): theres a first for everything
Ciara (1/1/2006 10:05:37 PM): agaahhahaha
franny (1/1/2006 10:06:44 PM): ahahaha drats!!
Ciara (1/1/2006 10:06:58 PM): wahahahahaha
franny (1/1/2006 10:07:50 PM): Hoouiiii in case you don't knowww may mga povedans sa SCHOOL NAMIN and that message will ruin meEeeeeeeeeeee
Ciara (1/1/2006 10:07:57 PM): whahahahahahhaa
Ciara (1/1/2006 10:08:01 PM): oh jst imagine.
Ciara (1/1/2006 10:08:06 PM): i have 300 contacts

-----night of jan.3, a day before school starts. everybody, including rain, is cramming ------
rain winter: ANG HIRAP MAGISIP AFTER E
rain winter: PARANG KULANG SA DUGO UTAK KO

poptart trixee: i love you for wearing the undies today
poptart trixee: haha
franny: i do wear undies naman everyday!!!
franny: AHHAHA
poptart trixee: because today is a special day -- it's the first day of classes
poptart trixee: THE undies!

franny: iba iba yung style nila ng pag solve ng simplex
aiu: di ko alam

Francis (9/1/2005 7:52:48 PM): eh kasi sabi ko .. an eye for an eye is how i live my life
Francis (9/1/2005 7:52:58 PM): SINONG LALAKE NGAYON HUH HUH
Francis (9/1/2005 7:53:01 PM): ME BABY
Yumi (9/1/2005 7:53:07 PM): NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Francis (9/1/2005 7:53:09 PM):
Yumi (9/1/2005 7:53:11 PM):
Yumi (9/1/2005 7:53:13 PM):
Francis (9/1/2005 7:53:18 PM): hahaha kokontra ka pa!!
Yumi (9/1/2005 7:53:24 PM): oo naman
Yumi (9/1/2005 7:53:26 PM):
Yumi (9/1/2005 7:53:39 PM): sige na nga...
Yumi (9/1/2005 7:53:50 PM): LALAKI KA. Yan. Tama.
Yumi (9/1/2005 7:54:01 PM): I give up. You win.
Francis (9/1/2005 7:54:54 PM): WHOOHOOO
Francis (9/1/2005 7:54:57 PM): SSAVE KO RIN YAN

---------------during this conversation, yumi and i had a game of Questions Only. All we
could say were questions. In the game, the first one who says a statement is a MAJOR LOSER----

Yumi (9/30/2005 9:35:49 PM): why so sad?
Francis (9/30/2005 9:36:09 PM): wala nagiisip isip lang
Yumi (9/30/2005 9:36:21 PM): wag mo kong gayahin
Yumi (9/30/2005 9:36:26 PM): masama ang isip ng isip
Francis (9/30/2005 9:36:27 PM): mana sayo
Yumi (9/30/2005 9:38:06 PM): eh...
Yumi (9/30/2005 9:38:53 PM): can i do anything to help you NOT to think?
Francis (9/30/2005 9:40:17 PM): can you twitch my brain with a screwdriver?
Francis (9/30/2005 9:40:21 PM): (question game)
Yumi (9/30/2005 9:40:41 PM): do you want me too?
Francis (9/30/2005 9:41:55 PM): why do you ask?
Yumi (9/30/2005 9:42:20 PM): because you asked me to?
Francis (9/30/2005 9:43:11 PM): so can you?
Yumi (9/30/2005 9:43:41 PM): what do you think?
Francis (9/30/2005 9:44:29 PM): please?
Yumi (9/30/2005 9:44:40 PM): now?
Francis (9/30/2005 9:44:51 PM): yeah?
Yumi (9/30/2005 9:44:57 PM): are you ready?
Francis (9/30/2005 9:45:35 PM): galing mo na
Yumi (9/30/2005 9:45:45 PM):
Francis (9/30/2005 9:46:02 PM): talo na koo
....GUESS I WAS THE MAJOR LOSER.

these are the moments I want to save because these give me a good laugh once in a while.
Beware while chatting with me. Who knows? Your name might appear in the next issue.

My HS class

2006-01-03T19:11:00.000+08:00

Nothing's more fun and fulfilling than passing every subject and every notorious teacher in high school. That day wasn't even graduation day yet but just look at our faces and you'll understand how grateful we actually are to finally walk out of the 4 year nightmare that we were fully conscious to. We're not complete in that picture because all of us won't fit. Anyhow, I want to say something about some of those people in the picture.

(Top to bottom, left to right)

ernest - Ernest is the extreme one. It's either he's too happy (which usually goes beyond the border of happy and unto the crazy side) or sad (because of his unusual silence). It would be easy to detect if this guy isn't in the mood to do anything at all. If he is, he'd usually be indian dancing around someone's face with his fingers, having their own life, dancing in every direction as if he's putting a spell on that poor innocent victim. I'm not sure if that's really a spell or not but either way, he makes us laugh our guts out. In one word, i would describe Ernest as Cannabis.

Gelo - This guy lives in commonwealth. And is #3 on my Deadly Drivers List. I don't really want to ride with him but there are days that sadly, I don't have a choice at all. There were times that he would forget to turn on the headlights and time check says that would be around 2 in the morning... in a highway. I could already guarantee my death even before he starts driving. I think being his classmate has an advantage over other people because I have never died due to his careless driving (or have I?).

Jose - This guy owns Arlington funeral services. He's also known as the prince of death. He owns a rest house in Laguna wherein the house keeper is a vampire (long story). No one has died in our class because the prince of death is at our side! We are all covered by his mighty power (cash) ! Jose smokes like the cat in alice in wonderland. He loves cigs too much that his mighty power over death couldn't control the grief he experiences when someone gets cigs from his pack.

Raf - Raf is currently the princple of Raf's School of Cigscraft and Weedardry. I've learned from him how to make ring holes (smoke rings. long story..short actually...but fuck. whatever). It's not hard to spot Raf around the campus or even Katipunan because he's usually the long haired guy in black having a cig in his hand (and on his ear) and on the other side is a bottle of beer clasped in his hand. Raf is also the #1 person to go to if you don't know how to survive the streets. He knows some techniques like dodging a knife, teleporting to the kidnapper's back, and the most difficult technique of all is kidnapping the kidnapper himself!

Espi - is my neighbor. Anyone can go in his house. No one cares. He wouldn't even know you're there until you go in his room. I did a surprise visit to espi once and drats, I wasn't able to see him in his underwear. His surprised greeting has always been "O?! ANONG GINAGAWA MO DITO?" and replies have always been a groan. I will definitely visit espi again when he walks around naked in his own house. I also would probably bring some friends with me, a case of beer, and a camera.

Me (2005) - fuck you you suck 2005 ME.

Rich - When you're with Rich, you talk about someone else and laugh about how stupid and foolish that person is. It's either that or the conversation is about hot college chicks. He was once one of the skaters in second year. He's really trying hard to do the tricks but he really prefers to just stand and laugh at the others when they fall. Rich is now abroad earning some money and chicks. Maybe the next time the class has a reunion, the first thing that escapes from his mouth will be a stomach-cramping laugh.

JC- uhhh AB psych siya. and kakalse ko siya sa chem.

Naz - Naz is the math calculator. He loves math too much that he chose a math course in college. I can't describe in words how much he loves math. If I do describe it, it would only be an understatement. This guy raps like no rapper has ever rapped ever in the history of rapping. Terrible. Nevertheless, the audience impact is awesome. Everyone laughs.

Bry - kaklase ko din siya sa chem.

Maui - Maui is my fellow guitar player. We have never completed playing the Satellite by Dave Matthews together. Our duet would always end up messed up. Is it me? because when he paired up with Ernest, they made a fockin rockin song!! Maui has an unfinished business with me in NBA LIVE. We don't know how to play that game so we played against each other. I beat him in the last second by a shot by putapenkgo (whatever the spelling is)? I don't even know who that guy is. All I know is Maui got really pissed. Maui is now abroad earning some money and chicks too. The next time the class has a reunion, maui and I, by then around mid 30s and having a mid-life crisis already, are going to play NBA LIVE 2018!!!

Jake - jake is the real white rapper. Naz's rapping skills can be compared to a worm while Jake's is an angry king cobra. Naz is a rip off. There's really no competition at all. I'll praise Jake's rapping skills but NOT PRAISE him because he exhausts every bit of saliva i have when he asks me to beatbox so he could rap along with it. Jake also has the chicken joy calfs. Just as Scott Steiner has freakishly huge biceps, Jake has a freakishly huge cafls (works to his advantage when playing basketball).

Biz - biz is like Ernest. He jokes about everything and anyone that he sees from the ball of a ballpen to our math teacher's broken legs! No matter how mean his jokes can be, it always gives off an exhausting laugh. This tough guy will fight anyone who gets into his nerves. But most of the time, biz fights with this thing called BEER by drinking to the very last existence of it. The only thing Biz is afraid of is Trini's pubic hair.

Adrik - adrik is the person who likes to wrestle (with alik) . I've watched them both wrestle at Adrik's bed. It's so focking hot i got turned on and took pictures. Too bad alik didn't want me to keep the pictures. I think they're both in the Judo PE this sem showing everyone how good they are together. I could foresee Adrik in our class reunion giving everyone a hard takedown.

Maco - this is the guy you want to stay beside in any place where there is food set in the table. His stomach could only take in as much as three bulilit burgers. No more. Less, yes of course. He would be finished eating 1/10th of the time the other finishes their meals. By the time he's finished, everybody else in the table morphs into vultures with their keen eyes preying on the juicy meat on Maco's plate. If you're beside maco, you'd have a huge advantage over the other hungry vultures.

Alik - I have an unfinished business with Alik for punching me on the butt while i was sleeping (drunk). Alik was my groupmate in Fil (along with Adrik) and we were doing the project in Adrik's house. That was the time when i got so focking turned on (of course it's a joke). Anyway, one day, i'm going to get alik drunk and punch him on the butt! TWICE!

Tanchu - He's going to be a mayor someday (see pic) .

Vincent - is my gym partner back then. Our gym days didn't produce good results because we were busy looking at hot chicks or laughing at the gay aerobics instructor. We dared each other to come in the gym wearing retro clothes. We both backed out afraid of several punches might fly toward us. He compares himself to THe MASTERPIECE.ahh., i got topless pictures of him if anyone is interested.

Kim - kim is jake's fellow rapper. He's such a hard core rapper and doesn't mind being called a nigga. I think he actually likes being called a nigga. Next time I see him imma call that nigga a nigga.

Those are my classmates on that pic. I have no more time to describe each one of them. Some are on the far right and couldn't be captured by the camera.

"I am your father" "FUCK NO?!"

2006-01-02T21:44:00.000+08:00

I don't know much about my dad because it's either he's not at home or he IS at home but we don't talk about ourselves. I only hear his voice when he talks about the latest crisis our family has or when he laughs about how embarrassing my homevideos are. The only thing i know about my dad is that he was a rockstar (not sure if it's true. i feel it's a phony. just as phony as they say santa claus is real). If my dad could be compared to rockstars nowadays will he be one of Orange and Lemons or Sugarfree? No I don't think that's possible. My dad's not cool. I think he's a loser. I don't really know. I don't know him!

Everything I said is based on my opinion about my dad. What does the world says about my dad?

I typed my dad's name L-O-R-R-I-E (gay name, according to my mum)--I-L-U-S-T-R-E on google and to my surprise i got a result whis his name in bold letters. Hey, why doesn't my name give a result on google? Is he that known?

I clicked the link curious to see if it's really my dad inside the website. And this is the picture that appeared. .....
....
THAT'S NOT MY FATHER!! I DON'T KNOW HIM!! WHO THE FUCK IS THAT? YEAH my dad does have a mustache but he doesn't wear baduy clothes (not THAT baduy) specially that whatever cap. Plus, my father's hair is as long as a girl's (girl hair + gay name = i'd rather not think of a conclusion). The only thing that's right is the description and the works he has done.

Seeing this very unreliable website made me think of who my dad really is? Well I sure know that's not him in the picture.

if anyone is interested in seing the VERY UNRELIABLE WEBSITE click here

Dante's Test is awesome

2006-01-02T10:09:00.000+08:00

I used to say that dante's test is a rip-off because during the year 2005, all my results placed me in the 7th level of hell. Now it's 2006 and i tried the test again .

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Second Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	High
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Very Low
Level 2 (Lustful)	Very High
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	Low
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	High
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	Very High
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Very Low
Level 7 (Violent)	Very High
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	High
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Moderate

Take the Dante's Inferno Hell Test

I'm actually improving! :) from 7th to 2nd? woooow. This is a hint that year 2006 will be great (or lustful?)
Rain and I are both going to be condemned to the 2nd level of Hell. But that's okay, really. In that level dwells Helena and Cleopatra - HOT CHICKS!! :) I think that level is one huge orgy. ohhh maan.

New Year's Resolution

2006-01-01T14:09:00.000+08:00

Everyone (including myself) has been making resolutions that they know they couldn't possibly do like they'll never smoke again, never drink beer, never cheat on their wives, never have sex until 60, never ever watch gay porn again. And each year, their resolutions would be exactly the same as the last time but with additional sins. That's not the way a resolution is supposed to be! That actually sounds like a confession to the priest. I find it foolish and boring. Therefore, this new year i've made resolutions that I know I can actually accomplish. There are too many resolutions to add so here are just some:

1) Make this blog MORE PERSONAL. i don't know how to edit blogs so it will reflect more of MYSELF rather than having the same layout with 92301928337 other blog users. I want to have flowers on the background and butterflies on the foreground and some caterpillars on the sides. Before someone IMs me the word "GAY" on YM, what i really like is BLOOD on the background, KNIVES on the foreground AND SKULLS ON THE SIDES. :)

2)Never call my friend EVIL CABBAGE again. One reason why 2005 is such a BOO is because i received countless punches, pinches on the eye, and hardcore slaps from her and these resulted to i-can't-get-out-of-bed-my-body-hurts-and-school-starts-in-a-while mornings. Hopefully, this 2006 i will resist with all my strength not to call her evil cabbage again. DRATS.

3)Since I can't call my friend Evil cabbage anymore, i'll start a scrapbook titled '101 Ways to Bug Yumi". If the book hits then I will allow it to be published and be sold on your nearest National Book Store. Inside the book , there will be a special number for the first 100 copies printed. that number is banned but it would be such a waste to filter out the most bugging line of all! 102) call yumi evil cabbage!!

4)Give a forceful punch to the face to any guy friend who
a) drops his pants in front of me showing his kinky underwear
b) shows me his topless/naked pictures
c) touches my butt/boobs/privs
d) shows me his privs
depending on the torture the incident might inflict on me, I might also consider giving a kick to the balls.

5)Rain (while on E) would never turn left because she thinks she'll morph into a zebra. I would like to successfully persuade her to turn left. OR add some more E so she'll think she'll morph into a giraffe if she turns to the right. That way, she'll have no where to go and i would hypnotize her not to use my name to make Hardhouse (code name) jealous again because that makes me an endangered animal.

Resolutions should be do-able such as my resolutions stated above. Although some of them are dangerous, the danger itself is what will make the year memorable. At the end of the year, i will (hopefully) evaluate what i've done with my resolutions. If i'm not able to do so, i might have died due to severe beatings because of #3 and a gunshot to the head because of #5 or someone squealed to yumi about my blog and i received severe beatings from her even before #3 happens.

Life is a negative

what the fuck

The post before this in the brotha's way of sayin biatch

Spyware gett'n sneakia

Spyware getting sneakier

First day hayyyy

The OMEhhN

no pain, no fun

Insecure tayong lahat!

Sarah's birthday

tam's driving school

The Alik Post

Chatting with the Lord Almighty part I

Chink Links

cereal stealers

I am what i eat. therefore, i am dry.

i am politically dumb

dumb THEN dumber

fractured fairytales

Ultrasound

*toooooot*

The real cancun

What are you eating?

Why i don't need a cellphone

saturday

alarm clock sounds

the word fuck

The many uses of Sec A Smocket

firday the 13th

firday the 13th

We all know these kinds of tests are innacurate

poise-replenishing sayings

Daniel Radcliffe minus wand = powerless Daniel Radcliffe

funny conversations 2

The book has been cancelled

What laziness does to humans . Exhibit A.

in the hospital

T shirts

Animals Animal Planet won't feature Issue #1

funny things my friends said over the ym

My HS class

"I am your father" "FUCK NO?!"

Dante's Test is awesome

New Year's Resolution

toooooot